just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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