You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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