omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
