I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
