dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
