The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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