Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize