Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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