trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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