PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, beer. Big fan.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
