Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
