so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize