In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
