how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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