You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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