Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
