Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
