Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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