eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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