So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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