since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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