Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
