sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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