bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
