I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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