we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
