How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
