Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
