she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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