I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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