I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
