we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
