i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
