Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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