The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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