I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
