i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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