Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
