I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
