one two three fourrrrnication!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
