Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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