I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
