I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Someone shit on the floor
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
