Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
