yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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