maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
