I hate your face
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize