my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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