her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize