Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
