So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
