Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
