If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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