New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
accomplished twins. life is a go
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
