I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
