I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
