epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
