um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
