I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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