Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
