It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We were destined to go to rehab together
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
