Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
