if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
