Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize