you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she woke up with a sticky ear
I think I won the penis lottery.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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