Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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