Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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(989): View more from Michigan

My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.

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(210): View more from Texas

I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!

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