yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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