I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm passing your future prison.
no you cant smoke seaweed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize