WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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