Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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