is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
