Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish you could order shots online.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
