Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize