You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
