I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
