You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
