What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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