Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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